untuk kau

salam,
em aku nak sampaikan sikit jer ape yg terbuku kat ati aku.ako selesa camni.they say its easy to forget but hard to forgive.i cud work on that but 1st i need to let it out.

untuk kau,
ape yg aku nak ckp,aku dah ckp.kau perlu pikir dalam2 sekarang.nasihat aku,pick back watever uve missed dulu.maybe u dunt even know they exist.but there's more to life than just one thing.n as my dad wud always emphasize..priority..aku cam byk sgt nak ckp denagn ko.i wish im there now to just sit.n talk.but nope life is never fair.so idup dgn bermaruah n berguna pd masyarakat.(wats that??but yeah..)

untuk mama,
thanx sebab bawak ib gi village park agi breakfast tadi.we've gone there so many times that ive addicted to it.next time around,milo dinosor k!.n sori now taht ive broke up baru ib citer sumer bende kat mama.tapi ib just taktau nak buat camtu dulu.ib tau kakak,hajar n baby sgt rapat nagn mama n citer sumer bende.tapi cam mama pun tau ib bukan camtu.ib rase xsesuai citer kan masalah2 ib ke aper kat mama.let me figure out myself ow to deal wif my stuff.nevertheless, even by not sayin a word u always be there from behind n be ever so supportive.u know i luv u more than anywords i cud say.

untuk kau,
aku rase dah bagitau ko.aku skang tgh bereksperimental nagn diri ako.aku mintak maap kalau aku ader tersakitkan ati ko.aku rase aku tak suke aku yg camnie so this time around aku jadi aku yg dulu.terima jerk.ahak.cumer kadang2 tu sakit ati gak nagn ko.rase nak balas n bgi ko paham.tapi guess aku dah immune n that not how things work.it just it sumtimes gets me when i sumtimes dunt understand wat actually happen at that side in ur world.n i dunno how to make ur life happier as u make mine..ape2 pun if there is ever 1 thing aku takkan exchange wif evrithing in this world,besides my parents,that wud be u.n aku sgt sgt hepi.n aku rase ape yg aku leh buat skang nie just ada kat sini,tunggu n doakan ko hepi.in all way taht posible.study,life n sumer2.

untuk kau,
Selamat hari jadi lagi skali.bloggrs edition.this is unusual tapi kadang2 ako rase ko cara ko pikey terlalu matang.take a step back n enjoy zaman nie.'cycle' ko skang takkan dapat ulang.i cant help but to see myself dlm ko maser cycle nie.n now ko dah ader responsibility yg lebih besar.n cam ako ckp,aku tak nampak sesaper lagi yg buler amik setapak lagi kehadapan dari apa yg ako n farid dah usahakan melainkan korang yg kitornag pilih.well not all la kan u know who,hehe. aku taknak influence ur decision dah by talkin too much.but whose fault for being the best listener in my 22 lyfe.when i talked to u i realize sumtimes its too much.all the classified stuff just flow out.but yeah it never failed to make me feel better..huu.n yeah tq for that too..

untuk ko,
nape ko baik sgt nagn ako nie?ape ko nak dari ako.tapi aku harap ure just tryin to be a gud fren.n aku rase mmg camtu pun.cuma kdg2 aku tak sangka org cam ko ader lagi.masyaAllah sgt baik dlm menjaga persahabatan.aku harap aku pun akan jadi sahabat yang baik cam ko.=P

untuk kau,
gudlak utk interview ko.ako arap u just nail it.aku percaya ko bule dpr yg terbaik dlm idup.cuma kadang2 ko kene kembali balik pada diri dan keluarga.tgk balik tindakan2 ko yg rase salah.n tak terlalu lambat lagi nak betulkan.dan ko tu abg sulung n u know how ur parent ko letakkan harapan kat ko.jgn hampakan drg.i now diri remaja ko ckp takpe utk ko hav fun tapi cam aku kate,kembali balik pada nilai2 keluarga kita.aku?sentiasa akan doakan ko.xyah risau pasal tu.n bagi nasihat yg pada aku yang terbaik..tu pun kalo ko mintak...for now,gudluck interview n exam nanti

untuk ko,
ako tak sangka yg pahaman politik boleh buat camni kat ko.ako hormat ko atas ilmu n pegangan ko.tapi ape ko buat kat ppukm aritu sgt sgt menyentuh ati.ko buleh tipu aku bulat2 depan muke aku ckp korang nak guna buat amanat pengetua.padahal pengetua korang ada kat putrajaya.pastu ko busukkan nama lawan ko konon2 panggil untuk bagi ucapan pastu dier takder n korang ckp dier takleh bagi komitmen?padahal korang tak panggil pon dia.yg paling aku menyirap dengar,ko biarkan jer anak buah ko tinggi2 suara kat timb pengetua? setinggi mana pun impian ko dlm politik,lebih2 lagi nama islam yg ko bawak,jagalah adap.igt la balik apa tujuan ko menceburkan diri dlm bidang ni pun.kalau selain demi islam pun pasti untuk kebajikan org bwh ko.tapi all this?ako kecewa sgt.sgt.n nie takder kene mengena nagn politik,if i wud blab about that,itll be soo long that ko pun meluat nak bace.this is about u.n the thing u let slip hanya untuk kuasa.haih

untuk kakak,
i know ure happy were not movin to putrajaya.the desicion has not been easy.bergelen2 minyak kete merc babah dah abiskan n god know aper lagi utk decide samer2.i just wish ure here thru evrithin.but now its over n kitorang dah start renovate umah mcm yg kite plan awal.insyaAllah by bulan 3 dah bole masuk dah.
the parkin lot as u know kite nak ratekan n widen the gate.pastu ader tangga kecik nak g garden n nak masuk pintu.sweet.pasni 4cars leh masuk.xde letak2 luar lagi.unless ure brigin one from dublin la kan..


n my fav part is the plaster ceiling.we're fightin wif babah not to put the 'takaful'-shaped on the plaster n sumting elegent instead.n i thank god we won.=P

ps-u shud see faizal tahir on AJL.bukak utube.damn proud of him.damn good.damn talented.


untuk krg yg buat malam ranggoli,
i think its a hit.the epic touch was classic.see we malaysian might not being expose of indian's epic n myth.more of malay's pgl,hangtuah,n wat not.its a great move.n to see all races together being facinated,i think its sumtin amazing.
ako rase beruntung utk berada dlm generasi nie.munkin ramai lagi yg masih ada sifat perkauman dlm hati.tapi aku rase ia sgt2 tebal dlm gen atas2 kita.the stereotype tu mmg dah terpahat.kalau india jer camnie...kalau cine jer camtu...tapi aku beruntung dpt idup denmgan kawan2 aku yg dah bebetul rapat n xkesah perkauman camtu.aku rase at sumpoint xpelah kalau semorang lupa nagn sejarah pun asalkan the atmosphere mase malam rangoli tu lived evriday.at sumpoint jer la..cuma aku sgt sgt suka tgk malaysia aman camni.budak2 melayu n ciner pinjam2 baju india n ramai2 pakai.gelak2 pulak sama2.sibuk2 nak tangkap ga,bar...ahhh sgt tenang

just as side note,i think hindraf gesa kerajaan india boycott malaysia is bullshit.wateve perjuangan korang pun.ure raised up in malaysia.watever ur grudge pon,u live now sumhow beco of malaysia.the food the shelter the very soil.in this stage i think i have to totally agree wif hamid alba,LEAVE.the extremist i mean.my other indian frens,i luv u guys.

n untuk ko,

stop merepek n start living like wat ure suppose to be.aku malu biler orang sebut org yg lead kumpulan drg sgt bagus n pencapaian itu ini.n burung2 kecik jumper ko nak wat sumthin yg cud actually naikkan nama kumpulan kita,ko plak berlagak pandai mcm dah lama idup dlm society burung.padahal semua burung2 senior pun benci kat ko.arh pressure aku ada kat bwh ko.let us fly freely dude.let us show the world wat we're capable of.nanti bila burung pemberita dtg ko sibuk2 nak drg interview ko,tangkap gambar siap kuar card suro call bebile mase.perangai ko tu memalukan tau tak!aih enuff

n cam biasa untuk ko,
aku sgt appreciate ko sebab bace gak bebelan aku sampai abis.ahak.but seriously i appreciate u =P

taktau per tajuk yg seswai..em mrepek?

salam

b4 start tulis panjang2 nie.ako harap semorang leh sama2 sedekahkan fatihah untuk jiran aku yg baru meninggal smalam.aku baru balik dr kenduri arwah beliau.Pn Awasilahatikitajriah disahkan mengidap kanser payudara dah lama.n b4 hari smalam barah tu dah merebak to her liver n paru2 kot.ntah but yg penting dah metastasis... Pn Awasi boleh aku katekan antara cikgu tuisyen 1st aku..she was a headmaster n conduct hometuition kat umah dier which is 5-6 house away from mine.kat situlah aku gi malam nagn member2 yg aku bebetul rindu sekarang..anak dier sorang batch aku..which aku cam dah taktau buat ape skang..tadi nampak pun sekali imbas jer.anak sulung dier plak a Victorian.cam ako...he tot me how to ride my 1st intrakota.from the heart of kl.thanx adra..now that she's gone it really makes me relize how fast thing goes..n i miss those days..i miss going to her house...tak sangka arini gi untuk baca yasin utk arwah..

al-fatihah

esok dah 3minggu aku dah 'xde paper' ngan aisya. 3 solid week n i still cant get over it.iyas mara ako to igt2 camnie.he said wats over is over.the past.i dunno i really hope its thats simple.but its kinda not..shamil plak asked iyas whether it really happen.guess now when aisya dah delete me n all my friends yg kwn nagn dier gak from fs,fb n block her blog,i guess yeah it really happen mil.guess, no...i hope she's not reading this blog anymore pun..bukan sebab apa maybe thats her way to get over things..but i tot its clear that night that we're still friends.considerin wat we had b4,..but yeah its not easy for her.we deal it our own way.im not blaming her.

now it looks like aku nak meraih simpati ker ape.i swear thats not wat im doin..guess when i block my blog n private kan,i can write freely kot..like quite few of my frens..i dunno

lucky skang nie ako cam sebuk skit.yelah pilihanraya is on the corner..bule pikey bende2 lain skit.all im doin now kat bilik lepas balik kelas tgk the whole series of heroes,house,prison break,how i met ur mother n mcm2 agi..the only time when i can concentrate studyin is maser kat study group jer.nothing in my room that doesnt remind me of watever i shudnt be reminded of.aish aku rase cam poyo sgt camni.tapi aku stress.sgt.biler kuar bilik n gi kelas jer i get to be that happy-go-lucky-bising2-ceria2-wat2-lawak-ib.but inside aku cam cant shke it off.i cant imagine wats aisya is goin tru.i really2 hope she's alright.sumpah sgt sgt harap..

dr syuriana kate aku sgt sgt muda lagi.she even advice me to stop fishing n start menjala instead.dier kater kalau husband dier tak ajak kawin dier pun nak lek2 jer dulu..ahaa sempoi.but now she's more than happy lagi2 nagn that brilliant norman kid yg nak masuk 6tahun dah pun...ckp2 pasal nie aritu aku berborak ngan hazim.dier tunggu burger n we talked sampai burger die rpun dah sejuk..iyas dah abis makan dinner dah kat bilik.sowi.uhuu.but it was worth it.dier citer mcm2.sgt2 byk sampai aku terlopong.hazim nie salah sorang jenis kawan aku yg sgt2 rare but yg buler cerita samapi buat aku yg bising nie denagr jer.hee seronok kdg..n no doubt i still look up on him.sumer dier citer dari dinner kolej,to kwn2 lama,to kapel2 ktdi,to scandal2 smapaila to part yg paling mengejutkan aku...perbalahan 2pemimpin.yg aku bebetul2 dunthav a clue b4 nie..sadly dah lama dah..aihh

hazim ckp skang nie dah suntuk sgt.were 22.pasnie dah masuk alam pekerjaan.paling menakutkan kitorang borak sgt dalam pasal isu bercinta2 ni n sampai alam perkahwinan.senior2 n rkan2 kita yg dah kawin.n pasal life itself.corak pemikiran dier sgt sgt matang n aku sgt kagum bender tu.lepas kuar dr cafe tu it hit me really hard.weyh nape aku cam kanak2 lagi nie?

but i humbly beg to differ hazim...now dah pk2 balik i dunt want to grow taht fast.i dunt want to rush to adulthood.or atleast get the fullest of wat im having now.the life i know i wont get back after graduate....

yeah aku sgt suke lari skang.n my best hideout place is tempat 'itu'.walaupun i didnt get to talk n luahkan perasaan ker aper.tapi aku rase tenang sgt.n aku rase disokong dari segenap arah.n biler aku keluar aku rase cam aku leh hadapi skit demi skit.aih.sgt suke.aku harap tempat tu tak ditutup dan sentiasa terbukak utk aku dtg..=)

adoi..best nyer membebel takder isi camnie.just biar jer tgn aku nak type ape2.i dunt want to hold back.dulu im sgt2 kesah ape org nak kate.poyo ke best ker.tapi aku rase tu salah.xperlu buat ape2 utk impress org.buat utk aku hepi.n kwn2 yg betul sure hepi bile aku hepi.provided aku tak sakitkan hati drg la kan?heen now mood dah takder.itll make me happy to stop writing n baring2 jer.muahah.so bye korang

ps i luv u guys =P

ill be back. wait

cant beliv u guys keep comin in..haih..thanx

askum..

yeah im sorry for the long gap.its just been too much for me to handle.the whole 2month-plus silence here was a complete opposite of wat im dealing in reality.in fact dalam maser dua bulan lebih nie la byk bende yg berlaku yg ako akan igt sampai mati.ako seriously tak rase nak bercerita pasal sumer2 tu sekarang.maybe one day ill pour it out.

n blog nie bukan lagi jadi tempat utk ako luah sumer bende.yes sharing is caring.sharing can ease the burden.but sumtimes it just brings more pain.more trouble to deal wif.n this place pernah jadi therapeutic time-off from evrithin.it always find it way to keep the happy-o-meter in me stable.but lately ako tak rase camtu.so aku lebih selesa berenti jap.well i think its the hectic life im having 4th year nie.i dunno how many thousand times ive complained but haih..its really2 tiring.plus alot has happen.so much that i really cant find time for me to write peacefully..n at this rate itll just add to my never-ending-to-do-list.which if they were magicly transform to a punching bag,i wud want to punch,kick WHACK them soo hard to make them go away.ahaa.melodramatic yeah i know.bt my point is,i wudnt want to treat my precious blog like that kan..so its best for me to put it on rest..maser tu...

byk benda dah berubah.aku tetap camni.but ako janji,ill be strong.n satu2 ako akan cube betulkan.one step at a time bak kata jordin.

n ako mintak maaf.sepanjang dua bulan nie gak aku rase ako lebih pentingkan diri sendiri.in a way to mend myself back.im very very very sory if sesaper in a way,hurt or mere terasa nagn aku.tadi babah suggested semorang smayng hajat utk aku.coz ive been moody long enuf to make him relize.ako bebetul rase takperlu n ntah ape2 tah my dad.but after smayang jemaah aritu cam biase n he really did.ako tetibe sgt sgt terharu.n sedar.aku takleh camnie selama2nya.i will get there back.kawan2 tahan skejap je lagi nagn aku.u know in my 22years of life.ni first time yg ako lari sejauh ini.maybe coz kali ini benda yg aku hadapi sgt besar dan bertimpa2 pulak.


ape tu?tulah tin2 coke yg menjadi obsesi aku one or 2 year back.(well one of).the 1st shelf is semua yg aku kumpul dari tempat2 yg ako dah gi.malaysia,mekah, madinah,thailand, ireland, london, n byk agi...

the second shelf? hadiah burfday aku dari iyas.sumer yg rare2 n collectors editn.he's been searching it thru net n get me those.kumpul sikit2.time by time.n he bought the exact number i had.he actually doubled my collection on my 22nd burfday.bagi aku,nilah ANTARA hadiah paling berharga aku penah dpt.dunt get me wrong,u know how much i really appreciate korang nyer gift.but it requires sumone who not just really understand me, but to be close enuff to even think of the idea to buy me those.

thanx iyas. not for just the coke.but just for being there, for evrithing..