Friday, June 19, 2009

aku malas

as simple as that.. alooot of thing in mind.dier asik suro update jer (wink).but i dunno.maybe later.owh i think its the holiday-mood...haha alasan si procrastinator mmg xkan abis.for the tyme bein, aku layan bende ni berulang2.huk..njoy~

Thursday, April 23, 2009

its around the corner..again..

salam

at this rate i tot id stop bloggin...but i guess its just not happenin yet..now why the long pause?here's some thoughts..

1.expectation.
after long quite i tot ppl wud expect a grandiose entree.or atleast an explanation why ive been bz.i just dont think i cud meet those expectation.thats my weakness. i live to ppls expectation.when i cant make it,ill refrain.but nevertheless ill work n work n hardly satisfy.like b4 this entree sebnanyer dah byk unpublished post.i just tot its not that gud.why do i care?its my blog?i dunno..its just me

2.its been a roller coaster ride the past few month.emotionally.
i think all the feeling that exist ived experienced it the past few month.extremely happy.extremely sad.frustrated.sense of belonging.felt i hav to get it.love.betrayal.u name it. i guess i can say its one of the toughest time in my life that i dunt even have time to even deal with the reality.i know i luv to exaggerate but there's soo many things happen.sampai one day;

mama:ib tak ok2 lagi ker?masalah tak abis agi ker?
ib : er masalah ape pulak ma..ok jer kot..
mama:auntie rosie dr jeddah baru tanyer mama nape ib macam sedey jer
ib : hah!!!! auntie rosie??

then it occured to me.her son, ammar which happen to be one of the very very few malay teen guy mase kat jeddah dulu, reads my blog (ammar!!xyah betau mak ko koooot~ daym.huhu)

but thats only one part.im aloot happier now.ALOT.i did sumthin that i never tot i wud do.n its worth it.i luv my frens more.get to see clearer which one is true fren n which is not..im enjoyin my life more.i learnt to ignore things that once matters to me but does not worth to think off..

3.my 5mp sony ericsson was broken beyond repair.
the chronology was really tiring n long.dunt think i wanna elaborate here.but yeah its tiring.i luv the phone.my title pic pun gamba phone tu.in fact i even start bloggin wf wif the intention of showin my life thru pic from that phone.n now i dunt really hav pics to uploads.n i dunt fancy writing plain no event pic entree.daym.

4.procrastinating
duh.do i need to elaborate?xyah kot sila la rujuk entry2 dulu ek.haa i dunt think i eva will grow out of it.adoi

now why am i writing today.when i hve 441 lecture notes to go thru.yes ppl believe it!!! FOUR HUNDRED FOURTHY ONE freakin lecture notes.buku teks?huu.aa lu pikir la sendiri..our system were made in such we study several subjects from 3rd year but the professional exam wud be in year 4.i that is in 2 weeks times.nah 1week lebih skit.dang.nah..

DANG!!!!!!!!!!

korang..tolong doakan aku tau.off all the years, i really need it this year =(

the barring list is out.but its been well kept at 'that' department.y? now the speculation goes.they say the dean is out for a week next week.if they made it public this week then ramai yg dtg menangis n merayu to 'that' department n dean's rum earlier.yeah who wants to repeat the whole year becoz only clinical requirements.particularly from that department.further more its not soo much bcoz incompetent,but most of the cases,lack of patients..sum says the list has 15 ppl in it.now its being confirmed to reduced to 11 pll...

"Ya Allah jauhkan nama aku dan rakan2 rapat ku di dalam list tersebut.."

enuf depressing matter.im goin to deal wif it anyway..i cud not end my blabbing without mentioning the success of dental's annual dinner.its actually the last program under pantauan DENSTA 08/09.this year we wanted to make it diff.i want to set one standart where ppl actually waits for that event evry year..i want it to be a night for evryone to remember.of course for those who go.n for those who didnt,i want them to regret their decision to just sit alone at their pathetic rum n have a yearly event that put to effort by several dedicated densta member just for them.owh come on it shud be the annual dinner of dentistry faculty!

n alhamdulillah.it happen as planned.undoubtedly the best, THE BEST dinner the faculty has ever witness in its 10 years.im soo happy.i cant describe how i felt.they say our khidmat bakti in PPRTR pahang was once said the best since it was 1st started 8years ago.n now this.plus dental family day won the best program of the year.easily.plus its unanimously made an annual event of the faculty.note this not another densta's annual event,but the faculty wants to be part of it.the staff,the tutors,the lecturers...1st time ever in densta's event we received that kind of honour.ppl, u really make me proud.

mohd zulkifli kassim
badrul munir
farina berlian
anith farhana
karimah othman
asyraf azil
liyani rosli
fahmi ariffin
farhana mat hussin
elvarasikupusami
azmeer rosli
adilah awang

...im proud of u guys..cant make it without each n evryone of u guys..

im really am...

here's some pic of dental glam night.the theme was movie.brilliant.hav fun finding neo,red riding hood,austin powers n the gurls ,darth vader, the beast/the cursed prince, barry trotter , the cowboys ,cinderella , geisha ,cruella de vill ,arabian night dancers, princess arwen,ghost busters , n urh byk agi!! huu












for sum reason aku xleh susun gamba n description..so tgk jer la ek.huu.cant imagine several ppl in there were actually specialist.mmg sporting dr!! huu.n semorang pun.it was fun~

n ive just done this test on my addiction to internet n my score is 63 =(

50 -79 points: You are experiencing occasional or frequent problems because of the Internet. You should consider their full impact on your life.

u shud do it urself here

chiawz

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

the cycle

Salam

Its full moon tonight.its the cycle of the moon that i enjoy the most.esp ptg tadi hujan n the skies cudnt get any clearer than this.i relize i luv fullmoon.sumthin that i didnt appriciate that much dulu.maybe coz i have more time lookin at it now.just sitting on top of my study table n gaze lazily.looking at the full moon reminds me of cindy.how i tell her about the story when the moon’s gravity pull’s the tide,it also have the same effects on liquid in human’s brain.cousing several hormon to be flush in body n further cousing canine n bulu2 to tremodously grow.an explanation of the warewolf phenomenon.

She buys it.

Cute in a way.she always been the blur girl in the group.n always gets it from us.n she will happily lough together.i then relize.i luv my frens.not that i did not b4.but i think i appreciate them now more than i ever did.even when im still wif aisya its a hard fact that took her a lot(i really mean alot) to swallow that i value them soo much.im surprise that its even posibble to increase.

Shamil blurt to me one day about a cycle in evrione’s life.at first i tought its only one of his merepek-ings but as he goes it occured to me that its a theory that ive never heard b4 n it does explains alot of thing in life.aku rase ko patut paten kan bende ni mil...
According to him the lot of cyle in a our life.big n small.n now i hav remember he’s referring to a smaller circle in my life.the part when a person gets addicted n obsessed wif rock kapak.it sounds stupid(u understand now why i tried to dismiss the conversation at first?).but it makes a whole damn sense.for those of u who enjoys kapak,im sure there a point in ur life where u really admires the kapak’s singer,sings kapak’s song in the bathroom,being shouted at bcoz u plays it too loud, n now ure just listen to it n says ‘sempoi dowh lagu ni..dulu aku suke giler babi...’.but u wudnt put it in ur ipod’s on-the-go playlist.well ppl.my kapak cycle has just started.aku baru dengar lagu2 cam hanya satu persinggahan,perhentian.bayanagn gurauan,takdir dan waktu,untukmu sayang,kamelia..n the list goes.i know pathetic.but i cant stop listening to the now.but according to him this,the kapak fever, will fade.(kudos to iyas yang HANDPICK 80 kapak song in his playlist n gave it to me.a small action at the right time cud change history.well iyas u plays a MAJOR role in my kapak cycle.as well as the other cycle in mylife.)

N now im gazing the bright moon.im slowly moving down to the lower part of the bigger cycle of my teenagers life.i was once the PMUKM.the dental’s faculty MPP.the board of majlis pemimpin.i once implement new rules.new point of view.even re-branding DENSTA.n there i was, last week, sitting at the very end of DSG ktsn watching the glorious ceremony of 4kl’s prelude.i stand there alone for quite some time.looking at mil giving speech,the subprograms booth,the butterflies.... the whole prelude idea was actually mine.well made to reality,perfected by the commitee that year.a small event to launch the grandiosness of 4kl.if theres such word.credit to my superb team that year.4kl07.the best group of organization ive been in.its an honour to work with u guys that time.it has mould me into a diff person.teach me alot in life.good n bad.going back to the prelude,as i was reminiscing n wished the whole team was there beside me to see how 4kl has evolve,leman joined me.n he shares his experiance as a tiny AJK.the whole new concept of pemasaran,the big event with 11 subprogram..he didnt know if ever he can be in the line of ppl standing giving speeches n deligating jobs in the perjumpaan mega. N now, he’s the ex pemantau of a program as big,fiesta citra budaya.he’s in the very line of JAKSA ppl last batch.

N me?

Ive grow old.i still have to remind myself the event was 2 years back...im old.
N another 2 week im going to let go the YDP’s title of DENSTA.leaving the legacy that ive imprint.cam poyo jerk.but i really make it a point as when this finally comes,i want to archieve certain stuff.Alhamdulliah i did.again with the help of my committee.ill extend my full-length gratitude next two week k.

My point is.im leaving the peak.im now returning to that nobody.no one greets me anymore when i arrive in bangi.there’s no reason for pegawai faculty call me anymore,i have no right to lepak2 kat pejabat dekan anymore,theres no need to anyone to listen to me anymore.fuh .wow..
Gosh... n i lost that person yg supports me like hell.=(

it makes me felt kinda stupid but yeah its 4the best...

bajat said...

to ibrahim a.k.a ib a.k.a blow ;p hehehe just kidding pal..

looking at ur personality, the way u treat all of ur friends, which is sgt2 baik (seriously speaking) kadang2 aku terfikir yg ko deserve hidup yg lebih bhg, tp saper tau kan, mungkin cabaran ini yg buatkan anda lebih tabah + bahagia..semua tu Allah yg tentukan, psati ada hikmah..kami di sini ib, warga medic ukm will always be with u, rindukan zaman2 kiter kat ktsn hehehe gelak2 dlm toilet, that was 2 years back, cepatnyer maser berjalan..tp aper2 pun, u will always be in our prayers,inysaAllah

smile always ib and be strong ;)

January 23, 2009 12:01 AM


I beg to differ bajat.i really dunt think that i treat my fren that nice.kalo tak takkan la ader org benci kat aku.i dunno.due to an unexpected event,i randomly tried grab this guy from my fac n then stared him in the eyes n said

“Zul,i need an honest answer.yes or no....in ur knowledge,do u know that if there’s anybody who hates me?yes or no”

Sadly he look away.n says he dunt really know.i have poured evrithing i have.ive sacrificed all the time in the world so that my faculty is seen in a better way.i regret,i really2 regret that sumwhere along the path ive created ppl that hates me.

N aku deserve hidup yg lebih bahagia?bajat.. selain ujian yg aku tgh hadapi skang( n its lifting up.im happier now) i dunt want a happier life.i wudnt want to change wat i have now,my parent,n that bunch of ppl surround me now( that implies to YOU) to anything.i might hav been telling sad part of my life now,bt i assure u i really had aloooooot of fun gak.anyhow,ur comment really put a smile in my face.n naim,lala,fazrul i appreciate ur comment too.
Alle n bebrapa org ckp my blog entries has gotten too emo.bertahan yek korang.if krg tgk aku kat facebook n fac berhepi sakan,this is wat i really felt now.no i havent past that dark tunnel.but now im seing the light.ill get there.il get there soon.

N on a whole diff matter.karpal blows up wat according to him has been kept for quite some time.he said anwar harus bertaubat.directly quote -bertaubat..does he even knows wat that means?but yeah according to him he starts teh trend of ppl start lompat2 parti.now that it backfires on them baru nak tergadah?n whose fault do think when now semorang nak demonstrate? From beribu becoz political issues to 50 becoz harga tol.infront of tanah runtuh till infront of istana kinta? Who start the trend?who pollute these young malay mind?i read this letter from a concerned malay,he said that anwar sepatutnya bertanggungjawab terhadap perpecahan orang melayu sekarang.thats really big.considering melayu sekarang dah berpecah jauuuuuuuh becoz politik.i mean yeah watever issues says the existing goverment faulty.well now when the other group pgg pon nampak byk sgt faulty.rasuah,lompat,scandal.wat im saying is it happen as long as human exist.anywhere whoever.but becoz of certain man’s ambition to become prime minister perpecahan yg KETARA ni berlaku?whose to blame? Doesnt the guy has a point?

Call me bias.wat do i care.ada org called me bitch dah.n even says fuck to me.yeah ure angry,but penah ako ckp fuck kat ko when im angry?haih

Cant wait to get out of all this.....this is tiring.

p/s: had alooot to talk about program kesihatan mulut komuniti in terengganu.not in the mood
pp/s: had alooot of fun at pgl s3.it was superb.but tak amik satu gamba pun
ppp/s: had some updates pasal umah but xde mud coz phone wat hal.n today takder pic pun.later kot

Thursday, January 15, 2009

untuk kau

salam,
em aku nak sampaikan sikit jer ape yg terbuku kat ati aku.ako selesa camni.they say its easy to forget but hard to forgive.i cud work on that but 1st i need to let it out.

untuk kau,
ape yg aku nak ckp,aku dah ckp.kau perlu pikir dalam2 sekarang.nasihat aku,pick back watever uve missed dulu.maybe u dunt even know they exist.but there's more to life than just one thing.n as my dad wud always emphasize..priority..aku cam byk sgt nak ckp denagn ko.i wish im there now to just sit.n talk.but nope life is never fair.so idup dgn bermaruah n berguna pd masyarakat.(wats that??but yeah..)

untuk mama,
thanx sebab bawak ib gi village park agi breakfast tadi.we've gone there so many times that ive addicted to it.next time around,milo dinosor k!.n sori now taht ive broke up baru ib citer sumer bende kat mama.tapi ib just taktau nak buat camtu dulu.ib tau kakak,hajar n baby sgt rapat nagn mama n citer sumer bende.tapi cam mama pun tau ib bukan camtu.ib rase xsesuai citer kan masalah2 ib ke aper kat mama.let me figure out myself ow to deal wif my stuff.nevertheless, even by not sayin a word u always be there from behind n be ever so supportive.u know i luv u more than anywords i cud say.

untuk kau,
aku rase dah bagitau ko.aku skang tgh bereksperimental nagn diri ako.aku mintak maap kalau aku ader tersakitkan ati ko.aku rase aku tak suke aku yg camnie so this time around aku jadi aku yg dulu.terima jerk.ahak.cumer kadang2 tu sakit ati gak nagn ko.rase nak balas n bgi ko paham.tapi guess aku dah immune n that not how things work.it just it sumtimes gets me when i sumtimes dunt understand wat actually happen at that side in ur world.n i dunno how to make ur life happier as u make mine..ape2 pun if there is ever 1 thing aku takkan exchange wif evrithing in this world,besides my parents,that wud be u.n aku sgt sgt hepi.n aku rase ape yg aku leh buat skang nie just ada kat sini,tunggu n doakan ko hepi.in all way taht posible.study,life n sumer2.

untuk kau,
Selamat hari jadi lagi skali.bloggrs edition.this is unusual tapi kadang2 ako rase ko cara ko pikey terlalu matang.take a step back n enjoy zaman nie.'cycle' ko skang takkan dapat ulang.i cant help but to see myself dlm ko maser cycle nie.n now ko dah ader responsibility yg lebih besar.n cam ako ckp,aku tak nampak sesaper lagi yg buler amik setapak lagi kehadapan dari apa yg ako n farid dah usahakan melainkan korang yg kitornag pilih.well not all la kan u know who,hehe. aku taknak influence ur decision dah by talkin too much.but whose fault for being the best listener in my 22 lyfe.when i talked to u i realize sumtimes its too much.all the classified stuff just flow out.but yeah it never failed to make me feel better..huu.n yeah tq for that too..

untuk ko,
nape ko baik sgt nagn ako nie?ape ko nak dari ako.tapi aku harap ure just tryin to be a gud fren.n aku rase mmg camtu pun.cuma kdg2 aku tak sangka org cam ko ader lagi.masyaAllah sgt baik dlm menjaga persahabatan.aku harap aku pun akan jadi sahabat yang baik cam ko.=P

untuk kau,
gudlak utk interview ko.ako arap u just nail it.aku percaya ko bule dpr yg terbaik dlm idup.cuma kadang2 ko kene kembali balik pada diri dan keluarga.tgk balik tindakan2 ko yg rase salah.n tak terlalu lambat lagi nak betulkan.dan ko tu abg sulung n u know how ur parent ko letakkan harapan kat ko.jgn hampakan drg.i now diri remaja ko ckp takpe utk ko hav fun tapi cam aku kate,kembali balik pada nilai2 keluarga kita.aku?sentiasa akan doakan ko.xyah risau pasal tu.n bagi nasihat yg pada aku yang terbaik..tu pun kalo ko mintak...for now,gudluck interview n exam nanti

untuk ko,
ako tak sangka yg pahaman politik boleh buat camni kat ko.ako hormat ko atas ilmu n pegangan ko.tapi ape ko buat kat ppukm aritu sgt sgt menyentuh ati.ko buleh tipu aku bulat2 depan muke aku ckp korang nak guna buat amanat pengetua.padahal pengetua korang ada kat putrajaya.pastu ko busukkan nama lawan ko konon2 panggil untuk bagi ucapan pastu dier takder n korang ckp dier takleh bagi komitmen?padahal korang tak panggil pon dia.yg paling aku menyirap dengar,ko biarkan jer anak buah ko tinggi2 suara kat timb pengetua? setinggi mana pun impian ko dlm politik,lebih2 lagi nama islam yg ko bawak,jagalah adap.igt la balik apa tujuan ko menceburkan diri dlm bidang ni pun.kalau selain demi islam pun pasti untuk kebajikan org bwh ko.tapi all this?ako kecewa sgt.sgt.n nie takder kene mengena nagn politik,if i wud blab about that,itll be soo long that ko pun meluat nak bace.this is about u.n the thing u let slip hanya untuk kuasa.haih

untuk kakak,
i know ure happy were not movin to putrajaya.the desicion has not been easy.bergelen2 minyak kete merc babah dah abiskan n god know aper lagi utk decide samer2.i just wish ure here thru evrithin.but now its over n kitorang dah start renovate umah mcm yg kite plan awal.insyaAllah by bulan 3 dah bole masuk dah.
the parkin lot as u know kite nak ratekan n widen the gate.pastu ader tangga kecik nak g garden n nak masuk pintu.sweet.pasni 4cars leh masuk.xde letak2 luar lagi.unless ure brigin one from dublin la kan..


n my fav part is the plaster ceiling.we're fightin wif babah not to put the 'takaful'-shaped on the plaster n sumting elegent instead.n i thank god we won.=P

ps-u shud see faizal tahir on AJL.bukak utube.damn proud of him.damn good.damn talented.


untuk krg yg buat malam ranggoli,
i think its a hit.the epic touch was classic.see we malaysian might not being expose of indian's epic n myth.more of malay's pgl,hangtuah,n wat not.its a great move.n to see all races together being facinated,i think its sumtin amazing.
ako rase beruntung utk berada dlm generasi nie.munkin ramai lagi yg masih ada sifat perkauman dlm hati.tapi aku rase ia sgt2 tebal dlm gen atas2 kita.the stereotype tu mmg dah terpahat.kalau india jer camnie...kalau cine jer camtu...tapi aku beruntung dpt idup denmgan kawan2 aku yg dah bebetul rapat n xkesah perkauman camtu.aku rase at sumpoint xpelah kalau semorang lupa nagn sejarah pun asalkan the atmosphere mase malam rangoli tu lived evriday.at sumpoint jer la..cuma aku sgt sgt suka tgk malaysia aman camni.budak2 melayu n ciner pinjam2 baju india n ramai2 pakai.gelak2 pulak sama2.sibuk2 nak tangkap ga,bar...ahhh sgt tenang

just as side note,i think hindraf gesa kerajaan india boycott malaysia is bullshit.wateve perjuangan korang pun.ure raised up in malaysia.watever ur grudge pon,u live now sumhow beco of malaysia.the food the shelter the very soil.in this stage i think i have to totally agree wif hamid alba,LEAVE.the extremist i mean.my other indian frens,i luv u guys.

n untuk ko,

stop merepek n start living like wat ure suppose to be.aku malu biler orang sebut org yg lead kumpulan drg sgt bagus n pencapaian itu ini.n burung2 kecik jumper ko nak wat sumthin yg cud actually naikkan nama kumpulan kita,ko plak berlagak pandai mcm dah lama idup dlm society burung.padahal semua burung2 senior pun benci kat ko.arh pressure aku ada kat bwh ko.let us fly freely dude.let us show the world wat we're capable of.nanti bila burung pemberita dtg ko sibuk2 nak drg interview ko,tangkap gambar siap kuar card suro call bebile mase.perangai ko tu memalukan tau tak!aih enuff

n cam biasa untuk ko,
aku sgt appreciate ko sebab bace gak bebelan aku sampai abis.ahak.but seriously i appreciate u =P

Saturday, January 10, 2009

taktau per tajuk yg seswai..em mrepek?

salam

b4 start tulis panjang2 nie.ako harap semorang leh sama2 sedekahkan fatihah untuk jiran aku yg baru meninggal smalam.aku baru balik dr kenduri arwah beliau.Pn Awasilahatikitajriah disahkan mengidap kanser payudara dah lama.n b4 hari smalam barah tu dah merebak to her liver n paru2 kot.ntah but yg penting dah metastasis... Pn Awasi boleh aku katekan antara cikgu tuisyen 1st aku..she was a headmaster n conduct hometuition kat umah dier which is 5-6 house away from mine.kat situlah aku gi malam nagn member2 yg aku bebetul rindu sekarang..anak dier sorang batch aku..which aku cam dah taktau buat ape skang..tadi nampak pun sekali imbas jer.anak sulung dier plak a Victorian.cam ako...he tot me how to ride my 1st intrakota.from the heart of kl.thanx adra..now that she's gone it really makes me relize how fast thing goes..n i miss those days..i miss going to her house...tak sangka arini gi untuk baca yasin utk arwah..

al-fatihah

esok dah 3minggu aku dah 'xde paper' ngan aisya. 3 solid week n i still cant get over it.iyas mara ako to igt2 camnie.he said wats over is over.the past.i dunno i really hope its thats simple.but its kinda not..shamil plak asked iyas whether it really happen.guess now when aisya dah delete me n all my friends yg kwn nagn dier gak from fs,fb n block her blog,i guess yeah it really happen mil.guess, no...i hope she's not reading this blog anymore pun..bukan sebab apa maybe thats her way to get over things..but i tot its clear that night that we're still friends.considerin wat we had b4,..but yeah its not easy for her.we deal it our own way.im not blaming her.

now it looks like aku nak meraih simpati ker ape.i swear thats not wat im doin..guess when i block my blog n private kan,i can write freely kot..like quite few of my frens..i dunno

lucky skang nie ako cam sebuk skit.yelah pilihanraya is on the corner..bule pikey bende2 lain skit.all im doin now kat bilik lepas balik kelas tgk the whole series of heroes,house,prison break,how i met ur mother n mcm2 agi..the only time when i can concentrate studyin is maser kat study group jer.nothing in my room that doesnt remind me of watever i shudnt be reminded of.aish aku rase cam poyo sgt camni.tapi aku stress.sgt.biler kuar bilik n gi kelas jer i get to be that happy-go-lucky-bising2-ceria2-wat2-lawak-ib.but inside aku cam cant shke it off.i cant imagine wats aisya is goin tru.i really2 hope she's alright.sumpah sgt sgt harap..

dr syuriana kate aku sgt sgt muda lagi.she even advice me to stop fishing n start menjala instead.dier kater kalau husband dier tak ajak kawin dier pun nak lek2 jer dulu..ahaa sempoi.but now she's more than happy lagi2 nagn that brilliant norman kid yg nak masuk 6tahun dah pun...ckp2 pasal nie aritu aku berborak ngan hazim.dier tunggu burger n we talked sampai burger die rpun dah sejuk..iyas dah abis makan dinner dah kat bilik.sowi.uhuu.but it was worth it.dier citer mcm2.sgt2 byk sampai aku terlopong.hazim nie salah sorang jenis kawan aku yg sgt2 rare but yg buler cerita samapi buat aku yg bising nie denagr jer.hee seronok kdg..n no doubt i still look up on him.sumer dier citer dari dinner kolej,to kwn2 lama,to kapel2 ktdi,to scandal2 smapaila to part yg paling mengejutkan aku...perbalahan 2pemimpin.yg aku bebetul2 dunthav a clue b4 nie..sadly dah lama dah..aihh

hazim ckp skang nie dah suntuk sgt.were 22.pasnie dah masuk alam pekerjaan.paling menakutkan kitorang borak sgt dalam pasal isu bercinta2 ni n sampai alam perkahwinan.senior2 n rkan2 kita yg dah kawin.n pasal life itself.corak pemikiran dier sgt sgt matang n aku sgt kagum bender tu.lepas kuar dr cafe tu it hit me really hard.weyh nape aku cam kanak2 lagi nie?

but i humbly beg to differ hazim...now dah pk2 balik i dunt want to grow taht fast.i dunt want to rush to adulthood.or atleast get the fullest of wat im having now.the life i know i wont get back after graduate....

yeah aku sgt suke lari skang.n my best hideout place is tempat 'itu'.walaupun i didnt get to talk n luahkan perasaan ker aper.tapi aku rase tenang sgt.n aku rase disokong dari segenap arah.n biler aku keluar aku rase cam aku leh hadapi skit demi skit.aih.sgt suke.aku harap tempat tu tak ditutup dan sentiasa terbukak utk aku dtg..=)

adoi..best nyer membebel takder isi camnie.just biar jer tgn aku nak type ape2.i dunt want to hold back.dulu im sgt2 kesah ape org nak kate.poyo ke best ker.tapi aku rase tu salah.xperlu buat ape2 utk impress org.buat utk aku hepi.n kwn2 yg betul sure hepi bile aku hepi.provided aku tak sakitkan hati drg la kan?heen now mood dah takder.itll make me happy to stop writing n baring2 jer.muahah.so bye korang

ps i luv u guys =P

Thursday, January 01, 2009

ill be back. wait

cant beliv u guys keep comin in..haih..thanx

askum..

yeah im sorry for the long gap.its just been too much for me to handle.the whole 2month-plus silence here was a complete opposite of wat im dealing in reality.in fact dalam maser dua bulan lebih nie la byk bende yg berlaku yg ako akan igt sampai mati.ako seriously tak rase nak bercerita pasal sumer2 tu sekarang.maybe one day ill pour it out.

n blog nie bukan lagi jadi tempat utk ako luah sumer bende.yes sharing is caring.sharing can ease the burden.but sumtimes it just brings more pain.more trouble to deal wif.n this place pernah jadi therapeutic time-off from evrithin.it always find it way to keep the happy-o-meter in me stable.but lately ako tak rase camtu.so aku lebih selesa berenti jap.well i think its the hectic life im having 4th year nie.i dunno how many thousand times ive complained but haih..its really2 tiring.plus alot has happen.so much that i really cant find time for me to write peacefully..n at this rate itll just add to my never-ending-to-do-list.which if they were magicly transform to a punching bag,i wud want to punch,kick WHACK them soo hard to make them go away.ahaa.melodramatic yeah i know.bt my point is,i wudnt want to treat my precious blog like that kan..so its best for me to put it on rest..maser tu...

byk benda dah berubah.aku tetap camni.but ako janji,ill be strong.n satu2 ako akan cube betulkan.one step at a time bak kata jordin.

n ako mintak maaf.sepanjang dua bulan nie gak aku rase ako lebih pentingkan diri sendiri.in a way to mend myself back.im very very very sory if sesaper in a way,hurt or mere terasa nagn aku.tadi babah suggested semorang smayng hajat utk aku.coz ive been moody long enuf to make him relize.ako bebetul rase takperlu n ntah ape2 tah my dad.but after smayang jemaah aritu cam biase n he really did.ako tetibe sgt sgt terharu.n sedar.aku takleh camnie selama2nya.i will get there back.kawan2 tahan skejap je lagi nagn aku.u know in my 22years of life.ni first time yg ako lari sejauh ini.maybe coz kali ini benda yg aku hadapi sgt besar dan bertimpa2 pulak.


ape tu?tulah tin2 coke yg menjadi obsesi aku one or 2 year back.(well one of).the 1st shelf is semua yg aku kumpul dari tempat2 yg ako dah gi.malaysia,mekah, madinah,thailand, ireland, london, n byk agi...

the second shelf? hadiah burfday aku dari iyas.sumer yg rare2 n collectors editn.he's been searching it thru net n get me those.kumpul sikit2.time by time.n he bought the exact number i had.he actually doubled my collection on my 22nd burfday.bagi aku,nilah ANTARA hadiah paling berharga aku penah dpt.dunt get me wrong,u know how much i really appreciate korang nyer gift.but it requires sumone who not just really understand me, but to be close enuff to even think of the idea to buy me those.

thanx iyas. not for just the coke.but just for being there, for evrithing..